Category Archives: Satire

Humor

Starve in the Dark?

In the year 1600 it is estimated that somewhere between 60 to 80 million buffalo were in America, millions more in Canada, our neighbor to the north.  In addition, there were tens of millions of deer, elk, mountain goats and bighorn sheep.  All these animals ate grass and were indeed as flatulent as todays domestic cattle.  Forest and grass range fires, started by lightning, burned unchecked for weeks or even months, spewing pollutants into the atmosphere.  Measurement of tree rings from trees over a thousand years old show that there were long periods of drought hundreds of years before the first European set foot on the Americas. 

One group of people who lived here at the time were dramatically affected by “Climate Change”.  They were the “Anasazi” of the American Southwest.  The word “Anasazi” is a Navajo word, meaning “ancient one” or “enemy ancestor”.  They arrived in the area as early as 1500 BC and flourished between 200 and 1500 AD.  They are generally thought to be the direct ancestors of the Pueblo tribes, who today form a large portion of the American Indian tribes living in Arizona, Utah, Colorado and New Mexico, including the Hopi and the Zuni.  Sometime in the mid 1200s these people, who had formerly lived on the tops of mesas or in the valleys below, tending their crops of corn and squash, were forced to build the “Cliff Dwellings” which dot the desert southwest today.  This dangerous decision must have been caused by the necessity to defend themselves from unknown enemies who had appeared on the scene.  Were they the ancestors of the present day Navajo?  The derivation of “Anasazi” would seem to indicate that is so.  Before the first Spaniard set foot in the region, they had completely disappeared. Continue reading Starve in the Dark?

Time To Ban Machettes?

There has recently been an increase in violent attacks by machette wielding assailants in various parts of our country, including a mass murder of four people and serious wounding of others in Garden Grove, CA.  Is it not now time to seriously consider banning the ownership or use of these long, fearful looking knives, unless you can prove the necessity to own one, or are a legal resident of a country with large areas of jungle?  These are questions that government agencies, particularly the United Nations, should quickly address.

In our own country (actually, “place of residence” is more appropriate to some)  in Texas, California, New York and New Jersey, even along the Apalachian Trail, people are being maimed or killed by these sharp, frequently pointed instruments. After all, who needs anything longer or sharper than a butter knife?  We eat too much meat anyway.  Yogurt, brown rice and falafel can all be consumed with the use of a spoon, or even using the fingers of your right hand (we must remember what the left hand  is used for).

Call your Congressional Representatives and demand that a Special Commission be appointed to look into this matter.  And oh yes, memorize this phrase.  Your life may depend upon it!

¡Por favor, no me pegues con esa machette!